First, I have been overwhelmed by all of your wonderful calls, cards, texts, emails, etc. I am one lucky gal. Even Kristin (my counselor) is impressed by my support system. My mom has been in a few of my dreams lately — happy and talkative, which I’m incredibly grateful for.
This experience highlighted my singleness. I missed having a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to at the end of the night. It cemented my decision to renew my dating efforts. So I built a profile on OK Cupid and have been talking to a few guys since. Don’t worry, I discussed this with Kristin. I was concerned I’m too messy to date, but she wasn’t worried and said it’s just the type of distraction I need.
One of the guys, let’s call him Xerxes (yes, I’m on “X”), asked me to coffee after work. Coffee? Well, tea for me. This seemed strange and raised questions: is he an alcoholic? Is coffee a safer investment than a drink (less time and money)?
Xerxes lives and works in Redmond. I selected Cafe Cesura, a cool cafe in downtown Bellevue. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised — he was cuter than his photos. Charming blue eyes and nice smile. I was nervous. This was my first first date since the beginning of January! Overall, it went fine. Initially, we discussed our jobs. It was more interesting because a) I actually have a job and b) he’s in marketing too — more product marketing and development, but a related field.
Xerxes is a world traveler and has a very cute dog, who I got to meet at the end (he was patiently waiting in the car). So we had plenty of topics to discuss. However, it was awkward at times. He’s so soft spoken that I had to ask him to repeat himself. Also, he interrupted me a couple of times, which was annoying. But he was more conversational than many of my past dates.
Would I go out with him again? Absolutely. Will it happen? Probably not. It may be what I projected, but I don’t feel very attractive at the moment. I’ve gained weight since the new year. Partially because of the holidays, but also lack of working out. I ran just a couple of times a week for the race, but stopped going to the gym — mostly because I was focused on my new job. When unemployed, I was going 4 times a week — I went 6 times total during the first 3 months of my new job! When I don’t work out, I don’t eat well and don’t have a good outlet for stress, etc. So I’m feeling average, big even. And I kept thinking, he doesn’t think I’m cute, why would he?
The good news is I’ve been going to the gym consistently this month and am already starting to feel better. With my determination, I should be in a more attractive state by mid-summer. So I’m dating reactively for now — it’s good practice and a fun diversion.
In the meantime, let me know if you’re up for a walk around GreenLake, a hike, a bike ride to Redhook, etc.
Julie in Seattle